Deployment

So, “it” is happening, a deployment.  It was bound to happen again sooner or later.  We’ve been there, done that, but not with three biological children and two foster children.  Last time it was just me and our oldest.  She was two years old at the time and I was pregnant with our second, a little boy.  Daddy made it home just in time for the delivery.  We were so blessed!  Others were not so lucky.  We know we’ve been blessed!  We know it!  We count our blessings daily!  We’ve been together, all of us, as a family for so long.  So, when he told me about the deployment, I didn’t fight it (well at first).  I accepted it like a “good” Army wife.  I said all of the right things, “It is our time,” and “We’ll make it through,” but I was angry.  Why now?  Why right after getting two precious foster babies that we had worked SO HARD to be able to bring into our home?  Why was God choosing right now to ask my husband to leave again?  Why now, God?  So, I fought it.  I begged God to change it.  I asked my husband to get “out of it.”  I begged and cried and begged some more.  But, as my most amazing man of a husband said to me, “God has given us so much, how can I say, ‘no’ to HIM when he asks me to go?”  So, after months of bargaining with God, I finally accepted it.  I began to pray for HIM to ready my heart.  Get me ready, Lord!  Please help me through this most difficult time!  Help me to be the wife and mother that you have called me to be please, Lord Jesus.

So, we’re ready.  Well, as ready as we’ll ever be, I guess.  The love of my life is leaving me and his children to go off to a distant land.  It is part of the job, part of what he signed up for so many years ago.  He’s going.  He’ll miss birthdays and Christmas.  He’ll miss dance recitals and soccer games.  He’ll miss movie night and slumber parties in the living room.  He’ll miss goodnight kisses and bedtime prayers.  He’ll miss us and we’ll miss him!  But, we’ll be here.  We’ll be waiting for him to come back and he will come back.  He will come back!

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