Going to church without him…

Sundays are really hard for me now. Families are supposed to go to church together! It feels so weird to sit alone in a pew that I usually can’t bring myself to do it! I end up staying with the kids in their classes or helping out in the nursery to keep from going to service alone.

I love going to church with my husband. I love sitting there holding his hand as we listen to the sermon. I love standing next to him as we sing and listening to his beautiful voice praise God. I love walking through the halls to pick up our children together with my arm wrapped in his. I love coming home and talking about what the preacher spoke about that day. I love listening to his opinions and take on things. I love everything about Sundays, except when he is gone.

When he is gone, we’re always late for church, because getting five children ready early on a Sunday morning is really hard. Someone always forgets to eat or to brush their teeth or wears the wrong shoes and I usually arrive at church with no makeup because there just wasn’t time. I love my church friends, but walking through the halls of our church, all I see are couples. Couples going to Sunday School together arm in arm, just like me and my sweetheart would be if he were here with me now. The bible lessons always seem to be about marriage or family or something else that reminds me that I am alone right now and it’s just depressing. I hate it!

Am I going to stop going this year while my soldier is deployed? Absolutely not! I will still be there every chance I get! Because even though it is sad and even though it reminds me that we are separated right now, it also reminds me that I am loved! Loved by my church family and loved by my God! Listening to our pastor pray for deployed soldiers every single week gives me peace. These men and women who fight for our freedom are not forgotten and my family is not forgotten. We are loved. So, even though it is hard we will still be there every Sunday morning. We’ll be there late, me without makeup, and probably with someone wearing the wrong colored shoes, but we’ll be there.

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