Trying to make sense of it all

It’s complicated.  Foster care is just that… complicated.  There are so many people involved and so many ideas from those people as to what should happen.  Then, caught in the middle are these precious children.  Children, who have no voice in what happens to them because they are too young and in the case of our babies, can hardly even speak.  So, “the state” makes the decisions for them.  Then, there are laws… laws that were written to protect these little ones, but often times these same laws do a lot more to protect the adults in these cases rather than the children.

Then, there are the foster parents.  We are the ones in the trenches.  We are the ones who open our homes and our hearts and welcome these precious little ones into our lives.  The night that DHR dropped our babies off at our house, I didn’t ask questions, I didn’t worry about the future, I just held them.  I loved them.  I comforted them and fed them.  It was not until several months in that I started asking questions.  What is going to happen with these two?  What is going on?  Who is going to raise them?  Are they worthy of raising such precious ones?  Do they have what it takes to chase after a one and two year old?  Are they healthy?  Do they have a house that is safe?  Do they want them?  Unfortunately, most of my questions went unanswered.  Months passed and I asked more questions.  What is going on?  When do we go to court again?  What is the plan?  Even fewer answers.

So, here we are at 10 months and 4 days with “our” babies.  We know that we will have them until November.  That is when the “permanency hearing” will take place.  That is when the babies will have been in care for the last 12 months, one year of their lives.  So much has changed.  They are walking, talking, eating different foods.  Little Man goes to preschool.  Baby Girl went from crawling and sitting to running, climbing, and playing independently.  They are completely bonded to our family and yet at any moment can be ripped away from everything that they know and put into a brand new situation.  It just doesn’t seem fair.

So, I sit and I worry and I wonder what I can do and the answer is NOTHING.  I can DO NOTHING.  I cannot do any more than I already am.  I love them, I watch over them, I feed them, and take them to the doctor when they are sick.  I change diapers, wipe noses, and clean up spills.  And, I pray!  I pray to the God who loves these little ones more than I ever could.  He created them and has a plan for their lives.  He has plans to give them a hope and a future.  It says so right in his Word!  I will rely on His promises.  I will trust in His sovereign plan.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

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7 thoughts on “Trying to make sense of it all

  1. Unfortunately, there is no one who is looking out for us as foster parents. There are no laws to protect us because we don’t rate anything when it comes to these precious kiddos. We can only pray that God is going to look out for them no matter where they go and no matter who is taking care of them.

  2. I have mine for at least nine months. We are already on month two and the thought of them ever being anywhere else is terrifying. Keep focusing on the now. Your kiddos know they are loved and that is truly what matters every day.

  3. Those kids are very lucky to have somebody who cares for them as much as you clearly do! No matter what happens, you’re making a very real difference in those children’s lives. So few people have the strength to do what you do!

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