I’m pretty much freaking out about Friday. The permanency hearing to decide the future of our foster babies will start at 9 a.m. that morning and I am seriously not sure at this point if I will make it until then! I am so stressed and worried!
I want the best for these babies! I want them to grow up in a safe, stable, and loving home. I want them to always have enough food, enough hugs, and enough support to do anything they want to in life! I want them to go after their dreams! Will Little Man like football or soccer or maybe science? Will Baby Girl be a ballerina or a gymnast or maybe prefer the rougher sports? Will they grow to know The Lord Jesus as their personal savior? These are all things I think about.
Then I start thinking about myself and what I want for me. I realize, I am selfish. I want to see them grow up! I want to cheer from the stands while they compete or perform. I want to be in their lives and get to know who they grow up to be. I am selfish. I am scared of losing them. I am scared of never seeing them again. I am scared of the pain that I may have to endure.