Please, don’t make me a liar!

Little Man has pretty severe anxiety. Most of this anxiety involves he and I being separated for any length of time. Whether it be staying home with a babysitter or staying in the nursery at church, we usually go through some kind of anxiety induced meltdown. I do a lot to try and help Little Man through this and I hear myself saying a lot of the following phrases.

“I’m coming back.”

“I will always be back.”

“I love you… You will see me in a little while!”

“Night, night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You are safe.”

“Just breath, it’s going to be okay.”

I say all of these things because I mean them. I would never ever in a million zillion years leave him and never come back. I wouldn’t! Only thing is one day they might make me a liar. One day I might not be able to say, “see you in the morning,” or “we are going home.” Someday, I might be forced to say, “goodbye.”

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One thought on “Please, don’t make me a liar!

  1. Thank you for sharing this.

    I am not fostering any children, but still, I have found myself thinking deep on this at times.

    What if I tell my child, “I will be back,” head out the door on a simple errand, and then never make it home?

    Oddly enough I have considered the very scenario in my head. I have imagined what it would be like for my children to have to deal with that loss. Imagined them remembering my last words, “But she said she would be back…”

    I have kissed our children to bed, told them, “I’ll see you in the morning” and then considered what it would be like if they never woke up.

    It has caused me to really think on how much is really safe to say, because truly there is only so much I know for sure.

    It’s a sobering thought that we aren’t really promised tomorrow, not even the next minute. One day we will all be forced to say good-bye. We can never really know how or when.

    Keeping that in mind is a powerful thing. It causes me to value far greater the days I have with my children. It causes me to pray harder for their salvation, for only in that is the beautiful promise of eternity together in heaven. There we will never have to say good-bye.

    Makes me think though… What would be best to say in those moments? Perhaps, ” I love you. My plan is to be back here by… ”

    “My plan…” That would be safe to say. I could say that while deep in my heart praying and trusting that God is the one with the greatest plan. I could remind myself again that God’s love for my children far surpasses my love. He will never leave them nor forsake them. He will be faithful. In that I have found my peace in those moments when I simply don’t know if I can be faithful to my word. I know He will be faithful to His.

    Praying for you and your crew tonight.

    – Charity

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