I’m so glad I still have you!

Baby Girl, you have saved me.  During my worst moments of grief, I still get to hold you.  I rock you in the rocker.  I buy you new shoes.  I plan your second birthday party!  I’m so glad I still have you!  

I was so worried when Little Man left that you would run from room to room looking for him.  After all, you had been together for your whole life.  Even when experiencing your first trauma and heartbreak at such a young age, you still had him.  I was worried you would be upset or unable to be calmed.  I was worried you would blame me or think that I sent Little Man away.  I didn’t know how I would answer your questions of where your brother was.  As it turns out, you have adjusted rather well.  You ask about him.  You say his name every time you see his picture or his empty bed.  You find little toys that belonged to him and were missed when the mass packing began.  When we pull into the church parking lot you kick your feet and squeal his name because you think we’re there to pick him up from preschool.  It breaks my heart, but makes me happy because we both miss him!  We all do, our whole family.  

We had hoped to keep you two together, your brother and you.  If we had our way, that would have happened, but that is not foster care.  We don’t get to make the decisions.  We just get to love you and take care of you and pray our most fervent prayer that you will always be kept safe!  We love you Baby Girl!  I’m so glad that God gave us you! 

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4 thoughts on “I’m so glad I still have you!

  1. Were they placed with you together from the same birth family? My fear is my girls will be separated one day! We have them together but they have different dads and that would be so traumatic for them!!

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