Sometimes I get angry at this stupid system! I watch commercials on t.v. about the state “needing” more foster parents. I listen to the radio announcer plug another agency wanting to certify new adoptive parents. I hear stories of children living in other foster homes with far too many other children or not adequate love and attention. Then, I sit back and get pissed! (Please forgive my wording, but yea, I’m pissed!). You wanna know why? Because for 6 months we have been waiting to serve, love, and protect another innocent life. We have said, “We are open. We are willing.” But, we get no calls. I am perfectly happy with our family right now. I love being a mommy to four! Only thing is, when I was a mommy to five, things just felt “right.” Grieving the loss of Little Man has taken months. I think about him constantly! I wish I could make some sense of it, but I can’t. All I can do is believe that God has a purpose. I thought it was that there was another child/children that needed us even more. But, as it turns out, it’s not that at all. We lost him because this system stinks!
That is it. That is all. Some days I just get really mad!