He lies about everything. 

Lies, lies, and more lies.  He has swam with alligators, shot turkeys out of trees, made straight A’s at his last school and didn’t talk out of turn in class today (it’s his teacher who was mistaken).  T has very little concept of “the truth.”  He literally couldn’t tell me the truth if his pants were on fire.  He does “accidentally” tell the truth about his previous life sometimes and then he backtracks and tries to cover it up out of fear.  It is sad.  It is exhausting.  It is so very hard. Foster care, it comes with some very big challenges.  Today our biggest challenge is how to teach T to tell the truth.  

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10 thoughts on “He lies about everything. 

  1. While I’ve not been in foster care, in therapy I have “accidentally” blurted out my true thoughts about my painful upbringing. And yes I’ve immediately backtracked out of fear and feelings of “I am disloyal to my parents.”

    Big hugs to you. It sounds like T has a lot of things to work through.

  2. I’m certain you know T well, but may I suggest that you be very careful when you call him a liar. I lived in foster care for many, many years until I was adopted by a family who had a bio son. Whenever he did something wrong, he’d blame me. I would tell the truth, however,they believed him and labeled me a “chronic liar.” They told my social worker that I never told the truth and I ended up punished for anything/everything. They never asked me about my past and never believed anything I said. It was a stigma that affected me most of my life. I endured physical, sexual and verbal abuse from their son. I did not tell them because I knew they would never believe me. I, finally, told my adoptive mother after he died and she still does not believe me. So, please, be cautious how you deal with this….Blessings!

    • Oh, I listen to absolutely EVERYTHING he tells me. He talks to me more than all of the other children in my home combined. He is anxious and talking non-stop seems to be a defense mechanism. We are in counseling and yes we are all taking very seriously EVERYTHING he tells us. Everything! It has just been a struggle to know what is the truth and what is not because he does lie so much as well and about very silly things like having a three story tree house with a zipline into a pool at his old house or that someone pushed him down on the playground. I call/talk/email to find the truth and do BELIEVE him first as a general rule. It is just hard.
      Thank you for your words of encouragement and constructive criticism. I want to be the best for T.

  3. That can be frustrating but sounds like you are doing everything right on your side, knowing there is a reason (defense mechanism) And working with therapist. We had a kiddo who only did this on visit days… The hard part was for my kids, bc I knew there was a rhyme and reason so I could show grace but the other kids including her own bio sister didn’t understand the root of the problem.

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