Help with T

T’s new foster mama texted me late last night and was curious if I had any advice on how to discipline T.  I don’t.  It seems T has started his lies again.  She told me that he lies to her about absolutely EVERYTHING!  Why?  We do NOT know.  His new foster mama is seriously awesome.  She is kind, yet firm and very stable.  But, T has started his lying behaviors again and he wasn’t very nice to his brother, Sad Eyes last week.  It’s so hard with T because very little phases him.  He is quite introverted when it comes to his feelings, so getting him to talk if he is not interested in doing so is incredibly hard.  So, I told her about when I told T the story, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf,” it seemed to really hit home with him when I told him that story at our house.  Every time that I sensed he might be lying, I would remind him about trust and how I wanted to trust him so badly, but that I needed him to be honest.  So, we will see how that works at their house.  He got t.v. and video games taken away for a week.  That might work too.  I really don’t know?  T has been trained that to survive he must lie.  It is so ingrained into his being that it is hard to change that personality trait.  I do know this, he is in a home where there is consistency and unconditional love.  I’m hoping and praying that he sees and feels this, so that he will let go of the lying and embrace telling the truth. 

Updates on the boys

T and The Baby are doing great in their new foster home with their brother, Sad Eyes.  Their other brother will hopefully be able to move in with them soon.  I get videos, pictures, and texts almost daily and it has made this transition so much easier than I had expected.  We miss them!  But, I still get to see them and hear about them and know how happy they are to be together.  That makes it all worth it!  T told his new foster mama that his “favorite” thing about being at her house is, “getting to live with my brothers.”  My heart smiled when I heard that he said that.  We did the right thing!  These boys are together!  

Their mother has stopped calling and visiting.  She has removed herself from the picture.  I don’t know why and I’m sure T and Sad Eyes notice her absense in their lives, but they have not showed it with any new behaviors.  Years of counseling is in the future for these boys, I am sure.  But, they’re together and enjoying summer!