Lonely

He left again this morning.  We had ten full days with him.  I am so happy he was home for Middle Girl’s birthday, the 4th of July, and our annual foster family pool party.  But, this morning he packed up and left to go “back to work.”  From now until he comes home again, I will have to answer my precious Baby Girl’s persistent, “where’s Daddy?”  My answer every single time is, “he’s at work.”  She must hate “work.”  It takes him away from her.  When he calls, she says, “Daddy, I want you to come to my house!”  It breaks his heart.  We have been doing this dance of deployment for a year and then long-distance daddy for yet another year.  We have had breaks.  He came home for a four month long Army school.  He was here for Christmas and just took ten days leave to be home for a chunk of the summer, but all in all, we are separated a lot more than we are together.  Modern technology is nice.  We talk constantly and our kids can FaceTime him, but it’s not like having him here.  It’s lonely.

The first year he was gone, he was deployed.  That year people asked “how are you doing?”  They were concerned.  They made a point to invite us to things and called or texted to say they were praying for us.  This past year, there were no invites.  No extra calls or texts.  After all, he’s in the states.  It’s just like every other family with a dad who’s job takes him away from home.  This is our new “normal.”  But, it’s lonely.  

It might not be our “normal” for much longer.  He is working at getting a job here.  It will be so nice to wake up next to him again, for the kids to have him at their games again, and for help with the house and yard.  I pray for that day to be soon!  Maybe before Christmas!  Until then, I’ll put on my big girl panties.  I’ll throw myself into raising our four precious kiddos.  And maybe, just maybe by Christmas life won’t be so lonely.  

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