Sad Eyes needs a therapeutic environment. It is not that he doesn’t also need a loving mommy, daddy, and family, but right now he just isn’t ready for that. His downward spiral reached a point of him being a danger to himself and others. His behavior was erratic. He didn’t listen to warnings of danger. It broke my heart. But, I do believe and I do know that his social worker is going to do everything in her power to get Sad Eyes the best help that is out there and available to him.
The day after Sad Eyes left, T and I went on the hour drive to see Sad Eyes and his mom and granny. We showed up at DHR and T recognized the van that he was used to being driven around in. He asked if he’d be coming back with me after the visit and I assured him that yes, he was coming home with me after his family visit. We entered DHR, Sad Eyes was sitting across the waiting room and jumped up as soon as he saw me. He ran over and wrapped his arms around my waist, “I go home with you,” he said, not as a question, but as a statement. My heart sank. Sweet precious boy, I wish you could. I wish you were ready for the love I want to give you. I hugged him. Then, we all walked into the back where we had a meeting to discuss the case with all of the members of the team. The point of this whole thing is to get these boys back with their biological relatives, hopefully their mother. So, we talked about what needed to be done while the boys played in a separate room at DHR. It is then that I learned the sad truth. Sad Eyes has been dealing with these “outbursts” and “rages” for years. He has lived with his mother, his granny and several other of his biological family members, in two different foster homes and had a stay in a behavioral health facility, all before coming to our house. No matter where he lives, he acts out in this way. I am not the first person to see it. I hope I’m one of the last, but we can’t be sure. We all agreed that he needs help. He needs therapy and a safe environment where he can be free to start his healing. He has been through so much, way more than any little person should ever experience and he’s got to be able to let that out. He needs a therapeutic environment, we all agreed. So, we won’t see Sad Eyes for a while, but we plan on visiting him wherever he stays, so that T and he can stay connected. I also plan to take T to see his other younger brother who is in a different foster home. That foster mother and I have met and plan to keep the boys in contact while they are in foster care. We don’t want them to lose that brotherly bond that they have. So, lots of visits are in our future.
How long will T be with us? I don’t know. All I know is that T IS ready for a loving family. He is ready for going to school every day, for having his meals made for him, for being taken to the doctor when he’s sick, for being read to at night, for having someone help him with his spelling words, and for love. He’s ready. So, as long as he’s with us that is what we’ll do.