- I took J and K to their mama’s house today along with all of their worldly possessions. I hugged them, kissed the tops of their sweet smelling heads and said, “goodbye.” Then, I drove away and bawled my eyes out. I could feel my heart breaking. I love those precious boys! Being their foster mama has been one huge joy! They are in loving hands though. Their mama fought for them! She did everything anyone ever asked her to do to get her boys back. This was a foster care success story! I’m blessed to have been a part of keeping this family together. God is so good!
The Twins and Baby Girl go to the same preschool where I also work two days a week. It’s fun because from my classroom window I can look outside and “spy” on them while they are on the playground. It’s free time and there are three classes full of friends they could play with, but over the past few weeks when I look outside they are always together! They really are like triplets now. Baby Girl is only a few months older than K and J, so I really do have three three-year olds, “foster triplets.”
It makes my heart so happy to look out the window and see that even though they could literally play with anyone else, they still play with each other!
I’m sitting in a coffe shop drinking coffee, Baby Girl is having a hot cocoa. We just dropped the twins off for a family visit at their mama’s house. I took some of the twins’ things to her house today. Reunification should happen at court next month. I feel good about it this time! I’m happy when I get to take the twins to see their mama. She is good with them. She cares about them. She wants to do better than she ever has for them and she has told me so. She has established an appropriate residence. She has a job, a vehicle, and wants to do this! She is different from what I’m used to being a foster parent. I’m so happy for the boys! I’m so happy for their mama.
Christmas with the twins was amazing. I loved watching them light up after seeing their Christmas gifts. I sat for an hour Christmas morning watching them ride in circles on their new Power Wheel ATV’s. They were so happy! But, these little ones really are just always very happy little boys. They are well adjusted and joyful children. I love being their foster mama. They are a joy!
The twins are amazing! God has protected their little hearts for sure! They are loving, kind, sensitive, playful, compassionate children. They play well with Baby Girl. They attend school, church, and outings with our family and have absolutely no behavior problems when out in public. They are pretty much the most precious little boys on the planet as far as I am concerned.
I love them already! It is crazy how fast the love comes in foster care. But, I love them and they already have a piece of my heart!
3 years ago on this date at 9:00 p.m. an unknown car pulled into our driveway. Three social workers and two of the most beautiful babies that I had ever laid eyes on were in it. We RAN to the car to welcome them into our home and I can honestly tell you without a shadow of a doubt that my life has NEVER been the same. I don’t EVER want to go back to the person I was before meeting my angels. They changed my view on everything! Jesus used two little babies to show me my own faults, where I needed to be humbled, where I needed more patience, and what was truly important in life. 16 months flew by and then I was faced with my worst fear (losing Little Man). I had told God I could not survive it, that He would have to change the circumstances because my heart wouldn’t be able to take it. God taught me something again… that JOY comes in the morning after grief and suffering. He taught me I could survive my worst day ever because I did. Now, I just pray pray pray for the little boy, I once called my son. Our babies were and are gifts from GOD! Today, one of those babies is my forever daughter! Baby Girl fills our house with JOY! She is growing into a very independent, loving, sensitive, daughter and sister. When I am asked about what I am most thankful for this year it is HER! She is our answer to YEARS of prayer. Thank you Lord JESUS for November 13th, three years ago. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
“The Lord has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.” Psalm 126:3
This year, as we walked through the petting zoo and as I watched the kids enter the corn maze, I reflected on years past. Every year for the last three years we have taken different groups of kids to the Pumpkin Patch. Every year we have made different memories, but the goal has been the same. We go to spend time with each other. We go to play and have fun. We go to bond and reconnect. And every year I love it!
As happens with Army life, we may have to move. Because of this, we had to temporarily close our home to new foster placements. We had to put a hault on our plans to hopefully adopt again soon. Now, we wait. Will we indeed be moving next spring? Where will the Army send us?
One thing is FOR SURE. I am praising GOD that Baby Girl is our’s always and forever! I NEVER would have left this state without her! Now, that isn’t even a worry! She goes where we go!
I’m throwing it out! I HATE that dress! It was something I bought right before court a year and a half ago. I wore it the day I took my precious Little Man to be reunified with his birth family. The family that had made absolutely NO effort to gain custody of him, but because “blood is best” as far as courts are concerned, he was gone. My little boy! My heart! The one who clung to me and wouldn’t get out of my truck that morning. My baby who called, “Mama, no go! Mama, no go!”
Oh how I hate that dress! I wore it that day. The ugliest dress in my closet. It has hung there for a year and a half just staring at me and making me sick. I’ve kept it just in case these”feelings” went away and I could wear it again. It cost money, was my rational. It makes no sense to just throw it away. I’m being silly. The dress if fine, it is basically brand new. I’m being wasteful. BUT, TODAY I DON’T CARE! I’m tossing it! Not in the trash, but in the donation pile! Someone else can wear that dress. Someone who doesn’t know about the heartbreak. Someone who doesn’t feel the pain. Someone who doesn’t ache for the little boy who was mine. Someone who didn’t see him in the distance getting into a stranger’s car at the courthouse with all of his earthly things, as I rode away. Someone who didn’t sob and sob and sob as my friend drove me home. Someone else can wear that dress. I hate that dress!
Dear Future Foster Son or Daughter,
We are waiting for you! We are praying for you. We are praying that God prepares us and makes us ready to be exactly what you need! I have your crib and/or bunk bed all set up and ready for you. We talk about you and hope to get to take care of you soon. I don’t know how you’ll come to us or why, but we feel ready. I know it will be tragedy that brings you to us and for that my heart hurts. We promise to love you fully, speak up for your needs, and do whatever it takes to help you in your time of crisis. We don’t know you yet, but we love you!
Your Foster Family