I will always come back

Little Man has been experiencing some pretty severe separation anxiety for the last couple of months.  When he first came to live with us, he loved going to the nursery at our church and ran in every time, ready to play.  He still does this usually, but begins to melt down about an hour into the service.  He starts crying, “Mama, mama” and is unable to be soothed.  When this happens, they call me to come get him since he simply cannot take it anymore.  When I arrive at the door all crying stops and he runs to me, wrapping his arms around me and not letting go!  I have read a lot about foster care and the ways that children cope.  This is a very normal thing for Little Man to go through.  Even though we have had Little Man for well over 6 months, he still needs to be reassured that I will always come back.  So, giving it time is really all that we can do, time and being trustworthy.  I simply have to show Little Man that he can trust me and that I will never leave him somewhere and not come back.  Tonight at church, it was different, he cried in the beginning when I first dropped him off and didn’t want to go in.  That was very hard on me.  I got down on his level and whispered in his tiny ear, “I love you and I will see you after church, I have to go, but I will ALWAYS come back to you!”  The tears still came and I left feeling torn.  Do I go back and get him right now?  Do I let him cry?  Fortunately, we have fabulous nursery workers at our church and they sent a picture to my phone of him smiling and playing which made me feel much better about leaving him for the few hours.  When I picked him up, we had the joy of reunion.  He ran to me screaming his joyful scream and wrapped his arms around my neck, immediately saying, “up!”  So, one more time I was able to prove to him that I will come back!  I will always come back!

 

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