The Twins and Baby Girl go to the same preschool where I also work two days a week. It’s fun because from my classroom window I can look outside and “spy” on them while they are on the playground. It’s free time and there are three classes full of friends they could play with, but over the past few weeks when I look outside they are always together! They really are like triplets now. Baby Girl is only a few months older than K and J, so I really do have three three-year olds, “foster triplets.”
It makes my heart so happy to look out the window and see that even though they could literally play with anyone else, they still play with each other!
3 years ago on this date at 9:00 p.m. an unknown car pulled into our driveway. Three social workers and two of the most beautiful babies that I had ever laid eyes on were in it. We RAN to the car to welcome them into our home and I can honestly tell you without a shadow of a doubt that my life has NEVER been the same. I don’t EVER want to go back to the person I was before meeting my angels. They changed my view on everything! Jesus used two little babies to show me my own faults, where I needed to be humbled, where I needed more patience, and what was truly important in life. 16 months flew by and then I was faced with my worst fear (losing Little Man). I had told God I could not survive it, that He would have to change the circumstances because my heart wouldn’t be able to take it. God taught me something again… that JOY comes in the morning after grief and suffering. He taught me I could survive my worst day ever because I did. Now, I just pray pray pray for the little boy, I once called my son. Our babies were and are gifts from GOD! Today, one of those babies is my forever daughter! Baby Girl fills our house with JOY! She is growing into a very independent, loving, sensitive, daughter and sister. When I am asked about what I am most thankful for this year it is HER! She is our answer to YEARS of prayer. Thank you Lord JESUS for November 13th, three years ago. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
“The Lord has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.” Psalm 126:3
We really want to adopt again! Will we get to, I don’t know? Right now, I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job of letting go and letting God! Mostly, because I have Baby Girl and she keeps me very busy! But, also because going through the whole adoption process with Baby Girl made me realize that when God gives you a child to love and nurture and parent, that child is the perfect one for you! I am completely trusting that if God wants us to adopt again, He will make a way!
So, baby boy or girl, if you’re out there, we’ll find you!
In a little over a week my kiddos go back to school. No more lazy summer days, spending hours out by the pool, doing nothing but playing and playing some more. I love the summertime. I love the freedom it provides my children to just “be kids.”
Here are some sweet pics from our time at the beach. I’m so glad we went! The weather was gorgeous! The beach was beautiful and relaxing. I took a walk one day and just prayed and prayed the entire time. God is so good to me! He has blessed me beyond measure!
Baby Girl playing in the sand!
The cousins in their matching flip flops!
My brave Middle Girl caught a crab!
My babies and I need a restful few days to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company before school starts again. So, we’ve headed to the beach! There is just something very soothing about the ocean waves and how constant they are. Waves going in and out, in and out, splashing at my feet while I sit in my chair and watch my kiddos play in the water and sand. It’s good to be here.
Oldest Girl will be starting high school in a few weeks and I know life is about to get very busy for her again. Only Boy will start his last year of elementary school. He is getting so tall and has already passed me by in height. Middle Girl and Baby Girl are both looking forward to starting ballet classes. Life is about to be full of car rides, schedules, and routine. The beach was calling us. We need to recharge before these big changes in our lives again. We are also praying that God will prepare us to welcome new foster children into our home this year. We would be so pleased to get “the call” very soon.
The beach is my happy place! Quiet, calm and peaceful, but full of fun and memories at the same time! Life is good at the beach!
He left again this morning. We had ten full days with him. I am so happy he was home for Middle Girl’s birthday, the 4th of July, and our annual foster family pool party. But, this morning he packed up and left to go “back to work.” From now until he comes home again, I will have to answer my precious Baby Girl’s persistent, “where’s Daddy?” My answer every single time is, “he’s at work.” She must hate “work.” It takes him away from her. When he calls, she says, “Daddy, I want you to come to my house!” It breaks his heart. We have been doing this dance of deployment for a year and then long-distance daddy for yet another year. We have had breaks. He came home for a four month long Army school. He was here for Christmas and just took ten days leave to be home for a chunk of the summer, but all in all, we are separated a lot more than we are together. Modern technology is nice. We talk constantly and our kids can FaceTime him, but it’s not like having him here. It’s lonely.
The first year he was gone, he was deployed. That year people asked “how are you doing?” They were concerned. They made a point to invite us to things and called or texted to say they were praying for us. This past year, there were no invites. No extra calls or texts. After all, he’s in the states. It’s just like every other family with a dad who’s job takes him away from home. This is our new “normal.” But, it’s lonely.
It might not be our “normal” for much longer. He is working at getting a job here. It will be so nice to wake up next to him again, for the kids to have him at their games again, and for help with the house and yard. I pray for that day to be soon! Maybe before Christmas! Until then, I’ll put on my big girl panties. I’ll throw myself into raising our four precious kiddos. And maybe, just maybe by Christmas life won’t be so lonely.
It happened! Baby Girl is our forever daughter and we are her forever family! My heart is SO full of joy and relief! She is our’s!
It was hard to hear. I sat putting Baby Girl’s shoes on as we got ready to go on a family walk. She looked up at me and said, “T mad mom, mom… T mad!” I didn’t quite know where this was coming from and so I asked her, “why baby?” “He pinches me all the time mom, he pinches me.” “What?” I asked her, now I was concerned! “T pinches me all the time,” she said and she used her pointer and thumb to pinch herself on the arm, showing me what he did to her. My heart sank. My first reaction, I wanted to cry! My baby had been hurt! She is so little! Only almost three years old and T will turn eight next week. He towers over her. Why would he be pinching her?
I get it. He’s hurting. Hurt kids, hurt others. But, why my baby? Why my littlest one who cannot defend herself? My heart was broken.
We know we have to catch him in the act to be able to confront this behavior. If we ask him about it without seeing him do it, he will just deny it. We know from experience that the best way to deal with T and a negative behavior is to address it when we see it.
Mostly, this just makes me sad. I’m mad too, don’t get me wrong, but mostly sad. T has been hurt and he is still hurting, so he hurts. It’s “normal” and I get it, but it still makes me very sad!
We will sign the “adoption home placement agreement” and all of the “paperwork” for Baby Girl this Thursday! I cannot wait! I’m cleaning the house spotless and making something yummy for all of us to eat that morning! It is going to be glorious and I’m going to photograph the whole thing! I won’t have delivery room photos for Baby Girl’s baby book, so I want to get pictures of everything I can and make it as special as possible! She is going to be our daughter!!!! We are so happy!!!
Our new and 4th social worker in two years came to visit today. She was very sweet and I enjoyed getting to know her and talking about adoption plans, but Baby Girl probably wondered what was going on. Baby Girl was shy and hid behind me on the couch while the worker was here. All of the workers, when they first come to our home and meet Baby Girl want her to talk to them or play with them. She doesn’t. She doesn’t know them. She doesn’t know she’s in foster care! The last time she had a visit with a bio relative was when she was 17 months old. She has no idea why strange people come to visit our house once a month and want her to talk to them. I really can’t wait for the day when she will not have to hide behind me and wonder. In two months this chapter will be over! Adoption day will start a new chapter in all of our lives! We cannot wait!