I’m so scared to let him go. I’m trying to stay busy. We are sticking with our routine of school, church, and our planned weekly activities, but in the quiet moments I find my thoughts racing and thinking about ways to change this! The fact of the matter is; however, that I can do nothing to change this! I can only gracefully, lovingly, and steadily help my son of 16 months to feel secure and safe these next few days. I pray with him, play with him, let him eat his favorite foods. I think, “should I write down his schedule for them,” or “should I write down what he likes to eat and drink?” “What if they don’t have chocolate milk?” “What if they don’t read, pray, and then kiss him goodnight?” The fact of the matter is, they won’t do it like me. They will do it very differently! All I can do is pray! That is it! Wow! What a humbling situation to be put into. I am literally in a situation where I cannot DO anything! I have to completely and fully rely on God in this! What a blessing that I have the hope of Jesus and the hope that one day Little Man will come to know HIM and then in heaven, I will get to see him again! I’m so worn out with worry tonight! I’m tired and exhausted. I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus and yet, I feel like I could keep going forever if there was just a chance I could change this. But, I can’t, so I will read my son his story tonight and tuck him into bed. I will pray our special prayer and I will tell him how much he is loved. Then, I will go to bed and hopefully get enough rest to face tomorrow!